The Millennial Homemaker

The musings of a Stay at Home Mom

Losing my “Self”

on July 13, 2009

I woke up this morning, and checked my email as usual. I came across a daily email I receive from Alpha Omega Publishers. The title of the email said, “You be the Judge.” Of course I took a few minutes to read through the article very quickly, but I slowed down and re-read one of the lines. Here is what it said:

“As Christians, the Bible also commands us to judge ourselves. To judge ourselves rightly, we must lose the total self-life that seeks only to please itself. Judging our actions and thoughts in light of God’s Word, we become Christ-conscious, not self-conscious.”

Those two words hit me right between the eyes: Christ-conscious and self-conscious. For so long I have known that I need to be ever mindful of how I walk and talk my faith. I need to live it out loud in every moment and in every opportunity. Yet, I manage to falter, and I have to be reminded to pick myself up and try again.

It’s not going to be easy, but I want to learn, and also truly live, the daily sacrifice of losing my “self” for a higher purpose. I need to let go of the things that “I” want, so I may be able to live for my ‘audience of one’… and it’s not me. It’s not about me. It’s all about Him… my God that I love.

I also want to let go of my self-esteem and replace it with Christ-esteem. I have never had a generous amount of self-esteem anyway, so why not lose it for something better? If my confidence is in Christ, and I want it to be, then I wouldn’t have to worry about self-esteem anymore. Remember, it’s not about me. It’s all about Him.

So, my thoughts for today have been transformed by one email, one word of encouragement. It’s a positive change, and it is ever-transforming. It will not be stagnant, and it will never die. It may turn into a small bundle of burning embers, but it will still be alive, waiting to ignite into another fire in my soul.

I am thankful for my faith. It helps me to realize that this life on earth is not about me. I can gladly step back and let God take the limelight. It all belongs to Him anyway.

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