The Millennial Homemaker

The musings of a Stay at Home Mom

Inside Out

I’ve been reminded that each one of us sees our own lives differently than another person’s perspective. Lately I have felt so overwhelmed with the circumstances of my life, and the consequences of bewilderment has lead me to ponder my heart. I really don’t want to be selfish, but I know that it’s natural to be selfish. I want to feel blessed, and I want to bless others. My cup of life is near-empty, and I long for a refueling of joy, love, kindness, patience, and self-control.

I’m glad that other people see my life in a positive light. It’s very difficult to always see the big picture when you’re in the middle of coloring inside the lines. For example, a ground-level view of the Earth shows the wear and tear, decay, abuse, pollution, and general breakdown of its natural resources. It is difficult to see the whole beauty of the world when you are standing in the middle of a dirty city. But, there is one beautiful way to view the Earth: from an airplane. I haven’t traveled much by plane in the past few years, but when I do get that chance, I am constantly in awe of the beauty and design of our “flawless” Earth from above. I can only imagine that God must also see us as flawless, when He is looking down on us from above.

And, so, that is how I desire to see the world: from a high elevation, where I am taking in the whole picture at once. Still, this view can also be skewed. Yes, it is awesome and breathtaking to see the beauty of the whole earth, but I also need to remember that there are many things in the world that are microscopic and too tiny to see with human eyes. In a spiritual sense, I have to remind myself that this analogy of the Earth’s beauty is symmetrical to the beauty of the person. A person may be viewed as beautiful by another person because the outside appearance is admired. But, what about the inside of the person? I’m not talking about the bones, the flesh, and the blood, but the soulful inside of a person: the thoughts, the feelings, the characteristics that make the person internally beautiful as well.

I should have titled this blog “the pursuit of beauty”, but that would have seemed a bit haughty. So, my thoughts ponder the development and refinement of internal beauty. I am in need of a major spiritual “detox” in my life. There have been so many little “things” that have crept in and poisoned my soul. I need to be cleansed on the inside first. I need to have an attitude adjustment, a thoughtful tune-up, and a heart-wrenching reconstruction of my heart. I need to cleanse and beautify the inside, so that I may reflect God’s beauty in my life. Only then will I become clean and beautiful on the outside as well.

I need so many things in order to be cleansed, but most of all I need prayer. I don’t want to be selfish, but I am asking of you, the reader, will you pray for me? Will you pray with me… that I will not have my heart trampled by the lies of the world, the guilt of the flesh, the attacks of the unseen? I need to put on the belt of truth, the helmet of salvation, the breastplate of righteousness, the shoes of peace; and I need to hold in each hand the sword of the Spirit and the shield of faith. I need to stand strong and fight this battle that is within me and the unseen forces that surround me. But, I can’t do it alone. I need you to stand beside me. I need you to grow strong with me. Who is with me? I hope you are.

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