The Millennial Homemaker

The musings of a Stay at Home Mom

Feminine, but not Feminist

on August 15, 2011

The Webster’s definition of Feminine is, “of women or girls; having qualities or characteristic of or suitable to women; gentle, delicate, etc.”

The Webster’s definition of Feminist is not in my book, but it defines Feminism as, “the movement to win political, economic, and social equality for women.”

Yes, there is a clear distinction between these two words, yet they both point to the same thing: woman. When I say that I am feminine, but not a feminist, I am standing firm on my belief that I can be a woman without having to fall prey to the political, economic, and social dysfunction of what society classifies as “woman.” I can be true to myself without having some modern definition define who I am or supposed to be.

Historically, a woman has always been subservient to a man in a social or cultural setting. Yet, if one reads the stories of various heroic women, the truth is read between the lines. A woman was still feminine to the core; she had incredible courage and strength that rivaled her masculine partner; and, she could rise to any occasion to prove her integrity, her passion, and her worth.

History decided to change the course when certain women wanted to be heard and known. They wanted the right to vote; they wanted to have the same compensation for wages. They wanted to be treated with equal respect as their fellow man.

I can’t help but agree that I would want those same things in a modern society. I want the right to vote in a political event. I would want to acquire competitive wages in a similar career of a man. And, of course, I would definitely want to be treated with equal respect as with man.

But, the past 40 years of the feminist movement has proven that if something is given, something else must be taken away. What has been taken away is true femininity. Where has the true beauty of a woman gone? To look at a popular magazine, TV show, or movie, women are now portrayed as anorexic, botox-laden outcasts who have to lose their integrity, their passion, and their self worth in order to be accepted in society.

I feel sad for the women out there who feel like they always have to be on some diet, or try the new spa treatment, or experience loveless intimacy to feel secure and worthy. I used to believe that it was “cool” to be a feminist in the 1990s, but 20 years of self-badgering and feeling unworthy has come to an end.

I know who I am now. I know that I am loved. I know that I don’t have to perform to anyone’s expectations so I can vote, be equally paid, or treated with respect. The real issue comes down to what is inside the heart of the woman. She has been lied to for the past 40 years, and it is time to take a stand and get back what was once there: true admiration for beauty from within; true passion for ideals and causes worth saving; and true worth for humanity because we are alive!

These few words pale in comparison to the great thesis that lies within the concept itself. But, someone needs to stand up and shout it out. Someone needs to remind society what true femininity is. Someone needs to start telling the truth.

I am woman. I am feminine. But I am not a feminist. Hear me roar!

source: Webster’s New World Dictionary, Warner Books. 1984.

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