The Millennial Homemaker

The musings of a Stay at Home Mom

Time is running. Stop to catch it.

A sweet friend of mine posted a link to an article that I thought was intriguing. Basically, it talks about not wanting to have more children, per se, but to have more TIME with the children you already created. I couldn’t agree more.

Here was my reply to her post:

“As a mom of 4, I look back and remember feeling that way a lot. Wanting to have more quality time. But, the real gift is just TIME. Enjoy each moment, even if they have diarrhea and are puking all over your floor. For one day soon, it will all be over. They will be driving and going to work or college. And then you wont see them for days. All you will see are the remnants of where they have been… the laundry, the dirty dishes, the bathrooms. And then you’ll wish that you could just read them a bedtime story again. Or take them to the park again. Its so surreal but so true.”

The thought of time passing so quickly has such bittersweet emotions.

It reminds me of that song, “It Might Be You,” which was played in the movie, Tootsie. Watching that movie as a young child in the 1980s I never thought how quickly time would pass into adulthood. Having children has somehow catapulted me into a fast-forward dimension of wishing that I could put the brakes on the concept of time.

Back to the original thought: having more babies does not give the ultimate satisfaction of spending time in babyhood. Babies grow up into little people. Then those little people grow into big people. What mothers crave is the ability to maximize the time that they have with the children already created.

Oh, how I’d love to find a time machine to go back a decade (or two) and tell my younger self to ENJOY IT MORE. Enjoy the diapers and the breastfeeding (or bottles). Enjoy the smell of baby lotion and rubber duckies floating in the tub. Enjoy the endless hours of playing at the park (mostly to wear them out for bed!) and pushing the children endlessly on the swings. Enjoy the snuggles and stories at bedtime. Enjoy the little breakfasts with “EEEAAALL” as my son used to say for cereal.


For one day really soon, those precious babies will be all grown up. They will graduate high school. They will get their driver’s license (Lord help us moms with all that adrenaline) and drive off in YOUR car for the first time. They will find a job,  develop a relationship with a girlfriend or boyfriend, or move away to college (or stay home during college and eat all your food).

In every circumstance of growth and change, TIME makes it hurt. It’s joyful to watch them grow, BUT IT HURTS LIKE HELL, too.

So as you snuggle your little ones, remember that those moments are so brief in time.




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When the $h17 hits the fan…

The revamping of my brain

A lot has happened in my life in the past 6 months. I have two choices to peak your curiousity… (1) I can elaborate on the boring details; or (2) I can just apologize for the crickets over here.

Yes, literally, I’ve heard crickets in my brain these past 6 months. I am not sure if it’s because I am in a whirlwind of mid-life madness, or if it’s because my path is about to change. Anywho… it’s nobody’s fault but mine, but I’m not choosing to blame.

I’m choosing to move forward

Life has a funny way of throwing $h17 in your face. I don’t want to say the actual curse word, but if you can read Klingon, then I’m sure you can understand what I am saying.

Here’s a recap of what I’ve been through (bucket list, anyone?)…

  • I became a mom at 23 (so young)
  • I became a wife at 23 (again, too young)
  • I moved away from everyone and everything at the age of 26
  • I bought my first home at 27
  • I kept having more kids (age 25, 28, and finally 34)
  • I finally got my Bachelors degree at 39
  • I lost my dad at age 21, then my sweet mom at age 41
  • I lost my home, my two cars, and my financial credibility at age 36
  • And, the icing on all the cake… I lost the trust in marriage at age 42

I could be so bitter about all of these changes. And yes, there are times when the bitterness superceded the joy. “Consider all JOY my brethren when you encounter various trials… said James in the New Testament.” Maybe James never had to file bankruptcy, or hold his dying mother’s hand, or listen to the horror of his spouse’s affair.

But, when it’s ALL said and done, when I draw upon my final breath on this planet of green and blue, will I be satisfied with my life?

I have to say YES.

I have to say that no matter how much $h17 has been thrown in my path, that the dash between my birth year and death year on my gravestone will represent a life well lived.


I love people I know more than I should. That’s the codependent side of me. But, I also love humanity. I love that people are the only creatures on this planet that can truly change the trajectory of this planet for good or evil. I hope that it’s for good.

My intentions for living are for good.

I want my four children to know that I did the best damn job I could in raising them.

Model citizens? Maybe. Great humanitarians? I HOPE SO.

Love God and love others…. that is my motto. It may not be yours, and that’s okay. But I hope that you DO love something… or someone.

For even when the $h17 hits the fan and rains poop emojis on you, you can still smile. Just like the yellow t-shirt in Forrest Gump… Have a nice day!


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A Generation of Parenting

What, How, Why: My 20+ Years of Parenting

Its officially been over 20 years that I have been called a mother. I have four children that range in age from 21 (almost 21) down to 10. A lot has happened in these 20+ years.

As I look back on the past generation (yes, one generation equals 20 years) of this monumental calling, I realize that my experience deserves a wink. A glimpse. A shot at fifteen minutes of fame. Or, maybe nothing at all. But, here it goes.

If you are a young mom drowning in the mundane duties of side order chef, laundry loader, calm down singer, carpooler, floor scrubber, or heck…. a mammary milk supplier… rest assured THIS PHASE goes by so fast. Trust me.

In 20 years time I have traded the following life-altering experiences as a young mom for the replacement alternatives as a now “seasoned” mom:

  • Sleepless nights —> sleep-all-the-time teenagers
  • Diapers and formula/nursing —> unending trips to the grocery store to fill the always empty refrigerator and pantry
  • Baby and toddler car seats —>borrowed car keys to teen drivers that come home way too late
  • Preschool tuition —> college tuition
  • Book fair purchases —> yearbooks, college textbooks, laptops, cell phones
  • Christmas outfits —> Homecoming and/or Prom attire
  • Family outings and vacays —> “I don’t have time or want to go on a trip with you”
  • Baby wipes —> acne wipes

And the list goes on and on.

So, begs the question: Would I do it all over again?

IF only  I could turn back time.

Instead, the beating of my heart keeps me going from one moment to the next. Each beat reminds me to cherish each moment with my grown children.

Knowing I only get a limited number of heartbeats helps me stay grounded in the reality of the speed of life passing by. And, so far… it feels as fast at 186,000 miles per hour.

2016 is SOOO different from 1996

In one generation I have seen the superfluous changes in parenting. From strollers to cell phones, from scrapbooks (real photos from film) to snap chat, from email to texting…. SOOO much has changed.

I almost feel sorry for the young moms in this decade. They have so much more at their disposal, yet they are so overwhelmed by the effects of instant everything.

  • Play dates are arranged on social media, rather than by picking up the phone and CALLING a friend for a get together.
  • Fast food and COFFEE shops on every corner are shaping the expanding waistlines and the need to buy more yoga pants.
  • Home parties (for mom’s night out) have been replaced by facebook parties.
  • Cooking at home is even more rare than the nightly meals once gracing the dining room table.
  • Speaking of the dining room table, this piece of household furniture resembles more of a desk, a craft area, or a museum piece.
  • Children now want (and usually receive) more gifts than ever from classmates that may move away… tomorrow. That $25 price tag for a gift? Nobody blinks at it.

Please know I am not raining on your parade.

My hat is off to you, young mom. I get the pressure you feel to just lie down and rest for 15 minutes. I understand the need to go to the bathroom without an audience. I have been there with the baby strapped in the carseat, sitting in the stroller, crying his eyes out while you are crying because of shampoo in your eyes.

What my mission is in writing this blurb is: I want to encourage you. Keep swimming with the current. Keep getting up every day and trying to squeeze in that workout. Keep learning how to make one new meal that your babies will someday brag to a friend and sing your praises. Keep picking up those socks and finding their homes or strayed partners. Keep singing those lullabies. Keep on mommying on.

For in 20 years, you’ll be trading your young mommy hat for a seasoned hat. And hair dye.

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Lazy Days of Summer

The past few weeks of my life can be summarized into two words: (1) lazy and (2) busy. After moving my family from one home to another at the end of April, I have chosen to do as little as possible over the summer. I have chosen to be lazy.

But it’s not all bad to be lazy.

Because, at the same time, I am still a busy mama. I am still cleaning and cooking and washing and organizing and running errands. Our family has had more visitors in our new house these past three months than we have had in the past year at the old house! I have stretched way beyond my limit in hospitality and served meals, hosted overnight guests, and play dates.

My view of laziness is equal to rest.

You can’t keep the motor running all the time. You need to stop and recharge those batteries. My version of rest these days is to sit in front of the TV and binge watch an old show called Gilmore Girls. It’s a light-hearted show of two major characters (a young mom and a teen-aged daughter) who share the ups and downs of living in a small, charming New England town. They drink too much coffee, and they talk way too much. But…

It is fun to watch and pretend I am living in that Gilmore world.

I know that the lazy days of summer are quickly coming to a close. The school supplies are waiting to be purchased. The patio furniture has been cleared out of the stores, and soon the rumble of the yellow school buses will line the streets once again. It’s only a matter of a few weeks and life will churn in another direction. The summer season will bow out gracefully to the new one ushering in with the first cool breeze of fall.

Oh, how I can hardly wait to open my windows and smell the cool air again.

So for now, in the midst of July, I am basking in the laziness of summer. Just as a bear hibernates all winter in preparation for a busy spring, I am hibernating inside my air-conditioned home to prepare for the upcoming season where I can go outside and stretch my legs and run around without heat exhaustion.

How about you? How are you enjoying your summer? I hope that you are finding those moments of calm. Those moments of rest. Those moments of lazy.

May you all be blessed today, my dear reader.

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Hitting Milestones… Making Memories

Graduation from high school is a big deal to both the child and the parents who raised him or her. Thirteen years of school, countless hours of studying, and a myriad of activities all culminate to one thing: the high school diploma. A piece of paper becomes the passageway that says a child has completed a huge milestone. It says, “Welcome to Adulthood.”

When my second son was born in December 1997, I didn’t really count the number of years that would bring him to May 2016… the year of his high school graduation. As held my 9 pound 9 ounce baby boy in my arms for the first time, I just wanted to cherish that moment of his miraculous birth. I didn’t want to think of him growing up….yet. Then, thousands upon thousands of moments later I am watching him don his blue cap and gown as we cheer him on to the next milestone of his life.

As he is leaping from one milestone to the next, I am holding on to each memory.

As a mom I am so proud of each of my children’s accomplishments. I am grateful that I have been there for all of those milestones. From their first smiles and their first words, to the first day of school and then to their last day of senior year, I am so honored to be there for them. My heart leaps with joy and cries tears of mixed emotions.

I believe that all parents want to see their children succeed through life. The love, the time, the sacrifice, the tears, the joy… all of it becomes so crystal clear when that moment comes to say, “Welcome to Adulthood.”

Right now I have so much to say, yet the words are hard to form.

Dear Michael,

I prayed for you when you were in my womb.

I prayed over you when you went to kindergarten.

I prayed for you when you went to summer camp.

I prayed for you when  you were in your first play.

I prayed for you when you had your first job.

I prayed for you when you received your driver’s license.

And now, I am praying for you as you begin life after high school.

All those moments. All those days. Etched in my memory.

I’ll love you forever and forever my baby you’ll be.

Love always,



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