Fork in the Road

I’ve been wanting to write for while, but I haven’t had the desire, the motivation, or even a topic to share. But, I am at a point in my life where I’ve come to the end of one trail, and I am facing a fork in the road. On Friday, December 16, I will be finally graduating from college. It’s been 19 years since I received my Associate’s degree, and now I am finally receiving my Bachelor’s degree.

I feel confused. Scared. Nervous. Anxious. Just like Anne Shirley felt when her best friend, Diana Barry, was married and left Anne behind. I need a new perspective. A new goal. Oh, why can’t I feel happy that I’ve reached the culmination for all that I’ve worked so hard?

I know there is always a plan in my future. I just can’t see it right now. Perhaps it is because I haven’t had time to relax. Perhaps it is because I am trying too hard to move forward when I’m supposed to be standing still.

Which path should I take? I have two choices that lie before me: keep searching for a job that will encompass my educational goals, or continue my education toward a Masters degree. I can’t do both right now. I have children that have needs to be met. I already feel like I’ve put so much on hold with them so I could finish my goal.

Or, should I get off the path altogether and just sit on the side of the road for a while? Soak in the moments of life… but not for too long. This is one time in my life where I don’t know what to do.

If anyone is reading this far, would you share your thoughts with me? Would you encourage me?

I’m thinking of the verse, Isaiah 40:31, as it says, “But the people who trust the Lord will become strong again. They will be able to rise up as an eagle in the sky. They will run without needing rest. They will walk without becoming tired.” (ICB)

I am looking for strength. I am looking for rest. I want to refill before I move forward. I still want to encourage others. My tank is empty. I’m not looking for a pity party. I’m finishing strong, but I want to start up strong again.