The DAD Dilemma

I always look forward to celebrating Father’s Day with my family. I had a great relationship with my own father when I was growing up, and now my children have a great relationship with their father. But, the harsh reality is that there are thousands (no, probably millions) of people who struggle to acknowledge their relationship with their father in any fashion.

In my opinion, this is truly the biggest problem we face in a society. To not be able to have a wholesome, growing, functional relationship with one’s own father has left a huge scar in humanity. The sheer pain of remembering the times where love was traded for ignorance, or trust was traded for shame, well, it may be too hard to bear for those who live with the “dad” dilemma.

A child only wants to be loved and appreciated for who he/she is. The child does not want to perform at a particular level for acceptance or love, yet this seems to be the normal routine. I’m not blaming the father alone for these less-than-desirable actions toward the child. The performance-based approval weighs heavily on the mother as well.

So, this Father’s Day should also be a time of healing. It is one thing to reflect on the past, but it is an extraordinary thing to forgive the past. I am guilty of hanging on to past wrongs that have never been sealed. I cannot relate to those who deal with the pain of their past and its relation to their father, but I can relate to just general pain of childhood mishaps.

My heart breaks for those who are in need of healing. Some may never find it. Their fathers may be dead, or they may be absent. Their fathers may have provided for them financially, but their love bank was completely broke. Others may have suffered emotional and physical scars from abuse. And, then there are the few who had a hero for a dad.

Father’s Day is not meant to bring out the hurt, but it does remind us of the dilemma of what being a Dad means to our society. In one sense, a Dad is the hero and provider of the family. In the other sense, he is the enemy of our souls. I pray that true healing will begin in those who have been wronged. I pray that the blame game will stop. I pray that relationships can be restored. And, I pray that fathers everywhere will stop looking to themselves and look to God Almighty for strength to carry the task of training the next generation of children.

I do not have an earthly father anymore. But, my heavenly father is all I need to guide my steps, guard my heart, and grow in grace. My prayer continues for those who are in need of a good father. You may not have an earthly father, but you will always have a heavenly father – should you choose to accept him.

Pennies for Eternity

A dear friend once told me that when you are teaching values and morals to your children, you are depositing  tiny, daily investments into their spiritual piggy banks. I have never forgotten that kind of encouragement, and the mental image of this concept is vivid and alive in me today.

My children are definitely worth more than pennies. In fact, their sweet and precious lives cannot be measured on a monetary basis. But, the imagery of depositing small amounts, a.k.a. pennies, on a daily basis is letting them know how much I love them and want to see them become full and rich of life!

It’s one thing to teach a child how to make his bed for tidiness, or brush his teeth for good health. But, it’s a completely separate matter to teach a child how to love others and love God. Why? Because, a child is naturally self-centered, and needs to expand his spiritual muscles of laying aside selfish desires to reach out to others and place their needs above his own.

I am beginning to see the fruit of the daily deposits I have made into my children’s spiritual piggy banks. Some deposits have been painful and slow, other deposits have been overflowing with joy and triumph. Yet, each deposit is a reminder to me of why I am a mother… the sacrificial love, the never-ending expenditure of energy, and the endless hope of knowing that all of this effort is for God’s glory… not mine.

I pray for all of the mothers out there who read this: that they may never see a piggy bank in the old way again. Rather, that the piggy bank will become a symbol of motherhood and child training – a symbol of eternal investment in the souls of the children, who will pay it forward with love and consistency to the next generation.